Angel in disguise

It sounds odd...but sometimes I feel like I am an angel in disguise.  Like my purpose in life is to help others.  This is odd seeing as I have such a difficult time helping myself in difficult situations.  However, I am super good at helping others in their time of need.  Test me!  See if I can help you!   Maybe I can give you some new insight on a difficult situation.  I have been told by many  friends that I am inspiring so lets see if this holds true.  Please give this a try!

Back to Work!

So, as I mentioned before I am starting my first classroom on Tuesday which I have never done before.  I am definitely excited, I love teaching and the job means a lot to me, however, I feel more anxious then anything.  Wouldn't it be nice to have a job where you could help others without being scrutinized for doing it?  I sometimes feel that I am looked down on for my occupation and that there is  a lot that is expected of me and I don't want to screw up!   I think we all feel this way in our jobs.  But in all honesty I am really confident with my teaching abilities...even though I am new and I need to realize that I am learning too and that things aren't always going to go with the plan.  I guess I am finally learning to "roll with the punches".  Can't wait!  Also did day 1 of the Jillian Michaels 30-day shred...pretty sore! haha.

Are you Pregnant?

So today started off awesome! I went to a workshop that got me reallly excited about starting the classroom in September.  I then went out for lunch and had all you can eat sushi and stuffed my face!   Then I went to the school to see my classroom.  While there I saw one of the teachers and she was looking at my shirt with a smile and I thought she was going to comment on it but then she asked "Are you pregnant?!?"  I replied "no, haha (nervous laugh), just ate a lot of lunch!"  She was mortified and I was thinking oh my god I need to lose some weight!! In all honesty my stomach does stick out quite a bit when I am full but still...this is ridiculous.  Remember my goals for yesterday...didn't do them.  So....on that note, I am going to do my menu list now and grocery shop tonight which will not leave me anytime to go to Jazzercise which is ok...I am too bloated to work out right now anyway.  Tomorrow I will get on track!!!  It is funny I meant to get on track when I started this blog...that was the whole reason for it...but it is hard when you want to fix so many things in your life (getting organized, diet, exercise, wedding, work, etc.).  So far this has been a bumpy ride but I am learning along the way!! 

Looking Ahead

Today was a really hard day.  My sister got angry with my dad and it made him upset, which in turn made me upset.  I wish she wouldn't say the hurtful things she says.   I came home and apparantely I have a nodule on my thyroid and then I googled that which is not the wisest thing to do when you are really paranoid about your health!  So I am back on the "maybe I have cancer" train, which is not at all awesome.   I got an LTO in a Kindergarten room and only have 3 days to set up :S  And to top it all off I weighed myself and I have gained 10 pounds in a month! 
OK!!!  Here is where my positiveness needs to pay off.  Remember, I am trying to make POSITIVE changes in my life.  So...tomorrow I am starting the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.  It is only 30 minutes a day so I can do this and there are no excuses what so ever!!  I am going to make a meal plan tonight and plan to buy some CHEAPER groceries.  Why is buying healthy food so damn expensive?  I will continue with the meditation. I am going for dinner with a great and very positive friend tomorrow night. So...sounds like I am all set to making some positive changes.  Tonight I will make my menu, address some invites and take a bath.  I will not spend my time worrying about the nodule in my thyroid...after all I had to call them to get these results...if it were really a big deal would they not have called me?   To those reading this feel free to comment and tell me just how healthy I am! haha.  Seriously...help me out here.
Here is a thought to leave you with...if you are worried about something think of the worst thing that could happen from it, accept it, and solve the problem...chances are it won't happen anyways but you will stop worrying about it because you are now prepared for the worst! 
Perhaps I should take my own advice?  Or Dale Carnegie's advice because I am pretty sure that I am remembering this from his book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living".

Relaxation

I have had a wonderful weekend with the girls at the cottage and now I am off to another cottage for the week. I will take this time to relax and live each day with no worries about the future.  It is time for some fun!  See you in a week!

Appreciation

Yesterday was not a good day for me but today is going well.  I am learning to appreciate what I have rather then dwell on the negative.  I am so happy and blessed to have such an amazing and supportive family and a new niece and nephew.  I want them to know who I really am and to be a good role model for them.  I know that I am on the right track.  This is short and sweet today but my goal is to enjoy the day and relax and reflect on the good in my life.

Blah

I am having a "fat" day today.  You know the days where you feel lazy and your pants don't fit and you are bloated and even though you aren't hungry you eat but all you want to eat is junk food!   Yes, it is one of those days.  On the path to bettering myself I need to do something about this.  I am currently on my lunch break but am not hungry because I have just downed a croissant, bagel, and two mini cupcakes!   I am keeping positive and I realize that it is not too late to change.  I am going for dinner with my sister tonight and need to order something healthy off of the menu.  That is step one.  Step two, I need to exercise today!!   I will run on the treadmill while watching Big Brother!!   I would do a DVD but I do not want to miss Big Brother (guilty pleasure) and I need to order my wedding invites today!   I did not end up doing my "Time Management Goals Checklist" yesterday because an old friend from out of town called and I went out for drinks with them instead!   Maybe not the best health move but I cannot feel guilty for something that makes me happy.  Also, I am not one of those people who drinks and drinks until I am drunk off my ass, so nothing to feel bad about!  I was still home and in bed by 11!  Yesterday the meditation did not go as well as it did on Monday.  I was so distracted and worried about these job postings.  I have only applied to 2 of them and need to get to work on that right when I get home from my course today.  My goal is to apply to 3 more postings today and then 3 more tomorrow!   They are due on Friday so if there are some others that I would like to apply to I can send them off then!   I need to remember that I already have a position and that I am well liked at the school, I cannot let one negative teacher get me down.  I do not know why I still have this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I am wondering if adding caffeine back into my diet was a bad idea.  I have not had it for over a year because it was making me feel sick.  I slowly reintroduced it into my diet and felt fine but now I am feeling sluggish again.  So, out it goes!!! 
This week in the meditation challenge I am being asked the question  Who am I?  I am so unsure of this right now and it scares me.  Why do I not know the answer to this question?  My goal after the 21 day challenge is to become more clear about who I am and my purpose in life.