I have turned into a spending machine...which is ironic seeing as I do not have any money to be spending right now! Does this happen to anyone else? Why do I spend when I have nothing; and when I want to spend....I don't buy?!! I understand that we are in an economic crisis and that people are watching what they spend, but sometimes I feel like I don't want to hold back! I know that "money can't buy happiness" but I also know that not going on vacation every now and then will drive me to be an insane person! That being said, I am going to Vegas, I am going to have a great time with friends and family, and I am not going to feel guilty about it! I do not have children yet and I want to live my life selfishly right now...I just want to figure out who I am, what I want, and what my purpose (outside of my work) is in life. How I get there may be different then what others would do...but I am doing me and that is what is important!
I sometimes get very defensive when people point out the ridiculousness of my antics, however, who is anyone to judge how someone chooses to live their life and be happy?
Another quick babble from a confused mind!
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Monday, 20 August 2012
Do you ever have so much to do that you do nothing!
Ok, so the title of my entry says it all. I am delighted, thrilled, ecstatic, and scared shitless about my new teaching position. I just got a full time contract as a grade 4/5 teacher and I have exactly 2 weeks to get my shit together and get this show on the road! Well...so far I have decided where the desks, tables, and shelves are going to go...I have decorated one board making a "word wall", and I have attended workshops and read lots of "professional" books about how to start a classroom. I am now so overwhelmed to the point that all I want to do is watch Netflix! So....started this blog because I am an anxiety ridden individual who would like to make changes in my life. I remember saying...one goal and one day at a time. I then write about 4 entries and I abandon my "great idea". How about a fresh start! Since I went to a workshop today...that should be good enough right? But...I still feel like my classroom is a mess and I have no idea where to even begin. If I go into the school tonight I will continue to feel overwhelmed. So, I have decided to wait (is this procrastinating?) until after I meet my teaching friends on Wednesday to go back into the room. I am then meeting another teacher on Thursday who I am going to ask lots of questions to and get her outlook on what I REALLY need to do to start my room.
As for personally...today I really just want to be. I want to allow myself to watch some television...have a glass of wine...a bath later tonight and read a good book. Tomorrow, I will wake up, meditate, go to my workshop and take some more time to be. Wednesday and Thursday I will work my butt off at the school and then I am off to Vegas for a few days and back to reality until our first "holiday"! I am going to be soooo busy from next week until Christmas so why should I feel guilty for taking the time to relax now?
Who cares what others think, right? Who is anyone to judge anothers happiness? I am definitely not a Type A personality. I love to just go with the flow and try not to worry. I see others stressing and working so hard to the point that they burn themselves out and when the kids come into the classroom in September, and things aren't going the way that that teacher has planned...shit. hits. the fan. There is no right or wrong way! I am who I am and I need to accept that and realize that I was hired for a reason! I have not changed who I am to get this job! I want the best for EVERYONE and I work so hard to ensure that this happens. So...maybe I procrastinate on WHEN I do this "work", but the fact of the matter is that I do it, and I do it well!!
Okay...so I have talked myself into not feeling guilty anymore! Yeah me!
To my readers (if any exist)! Do you find yourselves judging others? Do you feel like others are always judging you? If so, how does it affect your life and what do you do to make light of it all?
As for personally...today I really just want to be. I want to allow myself to watch some television...have a glass of wine...a bath later tonight and read a good book. Tomorrow, I will wake up, meditate, go to my workshop and take some more time to be. Wednesday and Thursday I will work my butt off at the school and then I am off to Vegas for a few days and back to reality until our first "holiday"! I am going to be soooo busy from next week until Christmas so why should I feel guilty for taking the time to relax now?
Who cares what others think, right? Who is anyone to judge anothers happiness? I am definitely not a Type A personality. I love to just go with the flow and try not to worry. I see others stressing and working so hard to the point that they burn themselves out and when the kids come into the classroom in September, and things aren't going the way that that teacher has planned...shit. hits. the fan. There is no right or wrong way! I am who I am and I need to accept that and realize that I was hired for a reason! I have not changed who I am to get this job! I want the best for EVERYONE and I work so hard to ensure that this happens. So...maybe I procrastinate on WHEN I do this "work", but the fact of the matter is that I do it, and I do it well!!
Okay...so I have talked myself into not feeling guilty anymore! Yeah me!
To my readers (if any exist)! Do you find yourselves judging others? Do you feel like others are always judging you? If so, how does it affect your life and what do you do to make light of it all?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)